Back to post though its 1am right now,
this feeling of frustration and anger keeps coming back,
yet I cant express it, verbally or physically.
Like a shaken carbonated drink, with its cap tight shut.
damn...
all these crap stuck in ma chest,
no where to give it a rest.
This utterly disgusted feeling,
causing this irregular breathing,
would get me no where.
Lost.
Despair.
Unmotivated.
Wouldn't know what could come next,
what I would want to see next.
This vicious cycle,
aint gonna end.
So what is the purpose then?
Throw a young chap into the sea,
hire a coach to teach him how to swim.
The coach go "yes, just keep swimming" as he observe the young chap drown within.
So what is my purpose then?
*sry mind the emo post, I aint have anywhere to share my thoughts.
because, yea fuck it, where else can I express my inner emotions?
Tuesday, November 18, 2014
Sunday, September 21, 2014
Probably my last orientation ever
Waddup ppl, back to blog yo
Follow me on @justqwirks for more illustrations and drawings.
Music Section
Well this week was orientation week.
and I'm tired already ;(
As much as I love meeting new people, I get tired real quick. haha
Some people warm out from the start but I'm the opposite, I worn out after. lol
Orientation, well like any other orientation, the purpose to meet people and play some games, walk around the school, etc. However, these people you meet at orientation might not be the people you would stick to the rest of your school term. Who knows what the future will be like?
My orientation group was pretty interesting, comprises of people from various backgrounds and various age. Cool peeps~
I would say among all the other groups, my group is pretty united.
Our seniors were pretty helpful in clearing our doubts and getting us settled in the whole new environment. Definitely a thumbs up for the effort there seniors!!
Oh yea, did I tell you my school is located at the other end of the island? hahaha
so travelling in the mrt for abt an hour is pretty new to me.
The scent of the cabin, suitcases, shirts and what nots.
I find it interesting too getting a whole lot of time to myself thinking and observing the working class going to and off work.
And of course, without my Mp4, the journey will be much more torturous.
School officially start 2mr, I'm pretty nervous and worried, though with a pinch of excitement, I wonder what is up for me.
Heard a few experiences from my seniors that it is much much different from polytechnic.
Well all I can say is Keep Calm. Stay Cool. Move on. ~
We were advised to HAVE FUN. I definitely agree to that, that is one reason why I chose to go university than to work, didn't I? ;) I shall not overstress myself and keep my hair black. keke
Honestly, I cant wait to meet the rest of my coursemates.
Will update soon.
Adios! Ja! Annyeong~
Ps. Meet my swag team of school rebels. haha didnt drew this intentionally for school but yea... for fun :) We have, Bruce, Foxy, Bugs and Hedgy!
I would say among all the other groups, my group is pretty united.
Our seniors were pretty helpful in clearing our doubts and getting us settled in the whole new environment. Definitely a thumbs up for the effort there seniors!!
Oh yea, did I tell you my school is located at the other end of the island? hahaha
so travelling in the mrt for abt an hour is pretty new to me.
The scent of the cabin, suitcases, shirts and what nots.
I find it interesting too getting a whole lot of time to myself thinking and observing the working class going to and off work.
And of course, without my Mp4, the journey will be much more torturous.
School officially start 2mr, I'm pretty nervous and worried, though with a pinch of excitement, I wonder what is up for me.
Heard a few experiences from my seniors that it is much much different from polytechnic.
Well all I can say is Keep Calm. Stay Cool. Move on. ~
We were advised to HAVE FUN. I definitely agree to that, that is one reason why I chose to go university than to work, didn't I? ;) I shall not overstress myself and keep my hair black. keke
Honestly, I cant wait to meet the rest of my coursemates.
Will update soon.
Adios! Ja! Annyeong~
Ps. Meet my swag team of school rebels. haha didnt drew this intentionally for school but yea... for fun :) We have, Bruce, Foxy, Bugs and Hedgy!
Follow me on @justqwirks for more illustrations and drawings.
Music Section
Sunday, September 7, 2014
STGCC 2014
Back to blog~
Well, today is suppose to be Mid Autumn festival, i guess? cause I heard lion dance downstairs and kids carrying their lil lanterns around with their parents.
I haven't been celebrating such festival for years now so oh well, its not somewhat special to me.
The only fun part is where you get to play with fire. :P
yea an excuse to play with fire hehe. just being careful not to burn things down...
Anyway, went to check out the STGCC (toy convention) yesterday.
damn, the moment I step in, i became broke.
why? cause the entrance fee was hella expensive >.<
but oh well, its once in a few years that I would go to an STGCC.
Thought it would be quite packed but since we went at 6, it wasn't that crowded xP
saw alot of star troopers around and even spotted darth vader.
but was too timid to take a photo with them.
There were hell lot of figurines around. ahhh~~ couldn't buy them so I too alots of photos.
Check them out below!
Oh speaking about conventions...
went down to the IT fair with my dad a week ago to check out whats good.
The funny thing was, me being me, like a lil girl, all the promoters kinda like 'ignored' my presence.
and all swarm to my dad (walking behind me) with brochures, catalogs and what not.
so I was kinda walking down the aisle like a king. kekeke
and the funny thing was, there was this guy giving out lollipops (somewhat a way to promote their electronic brand).
As I was walking as usual and randomly came eye contact with this lollipop guy...
and I obviously, continued to walk on...
he seemed to want to offer me a lollipop... but...
"hello sir, would you want a lollipop?" to my dad behind. DAMN LOL~
Thats all the interesting stuff for the week. school is starting in 2 weeks and orientation in a week time. Will probably be back to update my nonsense when there a interesting stuff to share.
So thats all for this blog, yo.
Ja~ Annyeong ^^
Ps. why does it smell like someone is cookin wanton noodles....#dognose
MUSIC SECTION
Well, today is suppose to be Mid Autumn festival, i guess? cause I heard lion dance downstairs and kids carrying their lil lanterns around with their parents.
I haven't been celebrating such festival for years now so oh well, its not somewhat special to me.
The only fun part is where you get to play with fire. :P
yea an excuse to play with fire hehe. just being careful not to burn things down...
Anyway, went to check out the STGCC (toy convention) yesterday.
damn, the moment I step in, i became broke.
why? cause the entrance fee was hella expensive >.<
but oh well, its once in a few years that I would go to an STGCC.
Thought it would be quite packed but since we went at 6, it wasn't that crowded xP
saw alot of star troopers around and even spotted darth vader.
but was too timid to take a photo with them.
There were hell lot of figurines around. ahhh~~ couldn't buy them so I too alots of photos.
Check them out below!
 |
| Doodles by the various artist on site |
 |
| Mega Optimus Prime :D |
 |
| Chibi style~ Mini Optimus Prime |
 |
| AVENGERS~!! HOT TOYS! |
 |
| IRONMAN HOT TOYS! |
 |
| Series of Ironman...damn Tony Spark always in the spotlight |
 |
| You know who this is, no need for mentions...BUT LOL that photobomb there. |
 |
| Hawkeye~ |
 |
| XMEN SERIES~ |
 |
| Wolverine~ Just heard marvels might really kill this character (in its comics) ;( |
 |
| This kinda remind me of myself...kekekek |
 |
| Kawaii~ |
 |
| Some artsketches that totally get my hands itchin' |
Oh speaking about conventions...
went down to the IT fair with my dad a week ago to check out whats good.
The funny thing was, me being me, like a lil girl, all the promoters kinda like 'ignored' my presence.
and all swarm to my dad (walking behind me) with brochures, catalogs and what not.
so I was kinda walking down the aisle like a king. kekeke
and the funny thing was, there was this guy giving out lollipops (somewhat a way to promote their electronic brand).
As I was walking as usual and randomly came eye contact with this lollipop guy...
and I obviously, continued to walk on...
he seemed to want to offer me a lollipop... but...
"hello sir, would you want a lollipop?" to my dad behind. DAMN LOL~
Thats all the interesting stuff for the week. school is starting in 2 weeks and orientation in a week time. Will probably be back to update my nonsense when there a interesting stuff to share.
So thats all for this blog, yo.
Ja~ Annyeong ^^
Ps. why does it smell like someone is cookin wanton noodles....#dognose
MUSIC SECTION
Saturday, August 16, 2014
The Society I live in
Was bored so decided to find bloggie to talk :D yehe~
Previously on my previous blog post, I mention how the society is, having high expectation of you.
One example is having expectation of you being independent just because you are 'old' enough after guiding you for the past few years and throwing you to the sea of sharks.
I guess thats how the world works. 'survival of the fittest' eh?
Another point is that you think you are 'free' once you are 'old' enough, but no,
the society has their own rules in this game.
& you gotta follow the 'rules' in order to survive, only a few know how to play out of the norm and still survive. I envy those people.
Of course, there is a big risk to take. Well, life is about give and take. :/
So below is how the society work in singapore...well in my perspective actually.
Playgroup - PLAYGROUND! TOYS! POKEMON CARDS!
Previously on my previous blog post, I mention how the society is, having high expectation of you.
One example is having expectation of you being independent just because you are 'old' enough after guiding you for the past few years and throwing you to the sea of sharks.
I guess thats how the world works. 'survival of the fittest' eh?
Another point is that you think you are 'free' once you are 'old' enough, but no,
the society has their own rules in this game.
& you gotta follow the 'rules' in order to survive, only a few know how to play out of the norm and still survive. I envy those people.
Of course, there is a big risk to take. Well, life is about give and take. :/
So below is how the society work in singapore...well in my perspective actually.
Playgroup - PLAYGROUND! TOYS! POKEMON CARDS!
Kindergarden(suddenly you have to go to school everyday short hours) - Where the hell is this place? Why do I need to go to sch? Whats sch? Who are these 'teachers'? Ah, pals of the same age! PLAYTIME! COLOURING! longing to get home from school to sneak some television on~
Primary School - Why do I have to wake up every morning at 6/7am? What is spelling? Why must I score good marks? Good marks is good, parents happy. okay, must score good marks.
[this period of time I struggled to go to school, yes only until pri 3 i started to adapt a little. but often wake up in tears, crying, not knowing what is going on to my life]
Secondary School - Already adapt to the schooling system, starts to go to school like an obedient robot. Just knowing about scoring well in exams and study just to sit the O' levels to go somewhere else 'better' after.
Polytechnic - Was a better version of schooling. You get to do things at your own pace though they have really tight deadlines but still enjoyable.
After polytechnic - . . . . . ? What now? Uni?
University-...actually have you ever thought what is the purpose of going to university? For the degree? For show? For what? How many singaporeans out there actually know the main purpose of going a university? I bet you ask any singaporean out on the streets majority will tell you:
"To get a better job" so now define 'better' job? You will still have to start small somewhere.
How many would tell you it is to 'enrich themselves'?
For me, why I chose uni, it was to 'buy myself sometime to think about my future'. Thus I chose a 2 year course, just to think. Why I didnt chose work instead? Cause, most of the working industry here is very dead. Like a endless routine that makes me sick. At least schooling allow me some free time to do what I enjoy.
Then after university, thats it.
You are out to sea.
Working - go to work 8/9am - 6/7pm, go home slack and the damn cycle repeats. & worst of all, not all colleagues can be considered as 'friends'. The rest of your life is all about work, money, work... dead, motion-less...
Maybe I do not find the motivation to work yet or the type of workplace I would enjoy yet...but how i view work life now, it aint all flowery and nice.
Ever thought if you were given a choice, to choose between-
1. You have alot of money but you wont be happy.
2. You do not have alot of money but you are happy.
If money and happiness were a choice, which will you choose?
Tough question eh? even I cannot give you a definite answer yet :/
I am still hesitating about it ... sighs.
The society i live in, values money more than being happy. Thus, the value of being a business man, a doctor, a lawyer is higher than an architect, a designer, a journalist, a constructor etc. "No money, where will be happy" one might say. Imagine the doctor who is operating for you, chose his job because someone told him to and because of the high pay. What will you think of this doctor?
So at the moment, I am lost, at the stage of studying vs work. What I wanna do with my life requires alot of effort and courage to pursue. Thus, I'm still thinking and taking it slow. Life after all isn't a bed of roses. :/
Opps think my blogging just got serious =x.
So thats all for this post...
more thoughts to come.
JA~ Annyeong! ^^
MUSIC SECTION!
Secondary School - Already adapt to the schooling system, starts to go to school like an obedient robot. Just knowing about scoring well in exams and study just to sit the O' levels to go somewhere else 'better' after.
Polytechnic - Was a better version of schooling. You get to do things at your own pace though they have really tight deadlines but still enjoyable.
After polytechnic - . . . . . ? What now? Uni?
University-...actually have you ever thought what is the purpose of going to university? For the degree? For show? For what? How many singaporeans out there actually know the main purpose of going a university? I bet you ask any singaporean out on the streets majority will tell you:
"To get a better job" so now define 'better' job? You will still have to start small somewhere.
How many would tell you it is to 'enrich themselves'?
For me, why I chose uni, it was to 'buy myself sometime to think about my future'. Thus I chose a 2 year course, just to think. Why I didnt chose work instead? Cause, most of the working industry here is very dead. Like a endless routine that makes me sick. At least schooling allow me some free time to do what I enjoy.
Then after university, thats it.
You are out to sea.
Working - go to work 8/9am - 6/7pm, go home slack and the damn cycle repeats. & worst of all, not all colleagues can be considered as 'friends'. The rest of your life is all about work, money, work... dead, motion-less...
Maybe I do not find the motivation to work yet or the type of workplace I would enjoy yet...but how i view work life now, it aint all flowery and nice.
Ever thought if you were given a choice, to choose between-
1. You have alot of money but you wont be happy.
2. You do not have alot of money but you are happy.
If money and happiness were a choice, which will you choose?
Tough question eh? even I cannot give you a definite answer yet :/
I am still hesitating about it ... sighs.
I'll probably elaborate on this some other time...
Opps think my blogging just got serious =x.
So thats all for this post...
more thoughts to come.
JA~ Annyeong! ^^
MUSIC SECTION!
Monday, August 11, 2014
National Day 2014
Well, the title of this post...
eh he, have no relations with what I gona vlog~
& I know, I'm a little late... I'm not gona say anything about the country or what so ever, cause I think I already grown out of the stage of being excited...no i mean overly-excited... for national day as I was a kid.
So on this typical saturday, where most of the stores decided to go on sale...
I decided to buy myself some...BEARS :P
hahahahah~
.
.
.
yesh, Imma kid inside... DUN JUDGE
So TADAH!
Yea so thats all for this post~ Ja!
eh he, have no relations with what I gona vlog~
& I know, I'm a little late... I'm not gona say anything about the country or what so ever, cause I think I already grown out of the stage of being excited...no i mean overly-excited... for national day as I was a kid.
So on this typical saturday, where most of the stores decided to go on sale...
I decided to buy myself some...BEARS :P
hahahahah~
.
.
.
yesh, Imma kid inside... DUN JUDGE
So TADAH!
Yea so thats all for this post~ Ja!
Wednesday, August 6, 2014
Ma first VLOG yo~
Hello internet, hello blog,
its 2014, so I decided to come back to blog :D
hehe, miss this little internet space of mine that store all my memories...
so gonna talk about this holiday~
most probably gonna be a slightly long post since I havent been updating it since...
pfft 2013, last year. HAHA oops :P
been a lazy ass when social media is so convenient these days to update about life.
But I still blogging will capture most of my thoughts and life best.
no more word limits, likes or dislike buttons or what not.
so a little bit more about my 'holiday'
Well, it all started all when you graduated from poly and you are left nothing.
NOTHING as in, no more specific instructions, no more people guiding you and tell you what to do next. You might say 'old already, independent what'. Yes I agree with being independent but with the life what we were brought up, its like teaching someone the basics to swim and throwing him/her into the big sea. (I shall leave this to the next post).
After graduating, got myself and a few friends to taiwan to take a break from this stressful world we living in~
Came back and got myself 2 jobs after the week break from taiwan...cause mum was nagging her head off to get my ass out of the house. [RANT AHEAD]
-.- my mum thinks when Im at home, Im literally lying on my bed all day staring at the ceiling doing nothing productive. ARG hate that the most, like literally it kills all my mood to start anything productive when she thinks Im wasting my ass off doing things at home.
DUDE, she needs to know home is where my productivity is -.- damn, how long she will know I cant do shyt outside. haha remind me of the time when she think the library is the most productive place, brought me to the library XX number of times and I go there to sightsee people walking pass rather then focusing on my homework. I get distracted real easily. And I enjoy observing people since young. So this sums up, she will never learn. [END OF RANT]
Ok, so 2 jobs, an office job (5days a week) and another at a lego shop (on sats). so I have been working 6 days a week. Amazing yea? FREAKING TIRED MAN. But it got me to cherish sundays really well. :P I did learn a few stuff from these two jobs.
But I'm so not gona live like that the rest of ma life.
Too zombified to work like a robot. Felt really pointless in life.
I wonder how the society, the working people in singapore could live like that. This got me thinking. Thinking about what I wana do in the future, in this zombified city.
Well one word I would describe myself is LOST. yes I'm very lost as a teenager. very very lost.
Dreams vs reality vs society. << SHYT JUST GOT REAL.
While working, I made myself a promise to do an activity/go out with friends every single week, just to make my working life a little better.
Did lots of interesting stuff and things that I would never thought I would do~
So now ended work and enjoying my weekdays, FREE~, focusing on what I enjoy most- drawing and listening to music.
Made a little list to do over this month before school starts...
and one of it is making a vlog~ wooo~
Check it out below!
The video was not at its highest quality since it was my first time filming myself. A little awkward talking to the camera for the first official time though but it was fine...I guess...haha Hope to do more videos in the future and improve on my filming too.
Oh yea! Created a instagram for solely my artworks. so do follow me yea?
@justqwirks
www.instagram.com/justqwirks
Thats all for this post~
JA! Annyeong~
MUSIC SECTION~
its 2014, so I decided to come back to blog :D
hehe, miss this little internet space of mine that store all my memories...
so gonna talk about this holiday~
most probably gonna be a slightly long post since I havent been updating it since...
pfft 2013, last year. HAHA oops :P
been a lazy ass when social media is so convenient these days to update about life.
But I still blogging will capture most of my thoughts and life best.
no more word limits, likes or dislike buttons or what not.
so a little bit more about my 'holiday'
Well, it all started all when you graduated from poly and you are left nothing.
NOTHING as in, no more specific instructions, no more people guiding you and tell you what to do next. You might say 'old already, independent what'. Yes I agree with being independent but with the life what we were brought up, its like teaching someone the basics to swim and throwing him/her into the big sea. (I shall leave this to the next post).
After graduating, got myself and a few friends to taiwan to take a break from this stressful world we living in~
Came back and got myself 2 jobs after the week break from taiwan...cause mum was nagging her head off to get my ass out of the house. [RANT AHEAD]
-.- my mum thinks when Im at home, Im literally lying on my bed all day staring at the ceiling doing nothing productive. ARG hate that the most, like literally it kills all my mood to start anything productive when she thinks Im wasting my ass off doing things at home.
DUDE, she needs to know home is where my productivity is -.- damn, how long she will know I cant do shyt outside. haha remind me of the time when she think the library is the most productive place, brought me to the library XX number of times and I go there to sightsee people walking pass rather then focusing on my homework. I get distracted real easily. And I enjoy observing people since young. So this sums up, she will never learn. [END OF RANT]
Ok, so 2 jobs, an office job (5days a week) and another at a lego shop (on sats). so I have been working 6 days a week. Amazing yea? FREAKING TIRED MAN. But it got me to cherish sundays really well. :P I did learn a few stuff from these two jobs.
But I'm so not gona live like that the rest of ma life.
Too zombified to work like a robot. Felt really pointless in life.
I wonder how the society, the working people in singapore could live like that. This got me thinking. Thinking about what I wana do in the future, in this zombified city.
Well one word I would describe myself is LOST. yes I'm very lost as a teenager. very very lost.
Dreams vs reality vs society. << SHYT JUST GOT REAL.
While working, I made myself a promise to do an activity/go out with friends every single week, just to make my working life a little better.
Did lots of interesting stuff and things that I would never thought I would do~
So now ended work and enjoying my weekdays, FREE~, focusing on what I enjoy most- drawing and listening to music.
Made a little list to do over this month before school starts...
and one of it is making a vlog~ wooo~
Check it out below!
The video was not at its highest quality since it was my first time filming myself. A little awkward talking to the camera for the first official time though but it was fine...I guess...haha Hope to do more videos in the future and improve on my filming too.
Oh yea! Created a instagram for solely my artworks. so do follow me yea?
@justqwirks
www.instagram.com/justqwirks
Thats all for this post~
JA! Annyeong~
MUSIC SECTION~
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